Category Archives: File Under Awkward Moments

I’m Fake Engaged … To An Astronaut

Recently, I picked up The Hot Mess Express, a ratchatastical new account, that requires in person meetings three times a week. Most of the Hot Mess Expresses are located in the the kind of neighborhoods that make you  carry a … Continue reading

Posted in Being Single, Break-Up, crazy people, Fate, File Under Awkward Moments, free advice, Girls Who Like Boys, Going Out, Humor, Love, Notes To Self, Proposals, Why You Have No Boyfriend, Why You're Single, Women, WTF | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

“Take Your Panties Off …”

Take Your Panties Off or not. I haven’t written in sometime now … partly due to the fact that I  am 72% positive that I either A. Have a Tape Worm or B. Am experiencing a false pregnancy, as I am … Continue reading

Posted in Being Single, crazy people, File Under Awkward Moments, free advice, Going Out, Humor, Love, Memories, Men, random rants, Relationships, Sexy Time, Take Your Panties Off, Why You Have No Boyfriend, Why You're Single, Women, WTF | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friend-tervention: How to Break Up with a FWB (Seriously)

For the two of you who are bored at work read this blog, Apologies for the extended hiatus. I’ve been busy ca$hin’ checks and snappin’ necks and by that I mean I’ve been training introverts to be extroverts. Which sucks … Continue reading

Posted in Being Single, Break-Up, File Under Awkward Moments, free advice, Gays, Love, Marriage, Men, Notes To Self, Relationships, Text Message | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

10 Ways to Stalk errr … “Meet” Mr. Right

1.  The Work Place Stalk.  Kelly Clarkson once said “Find a need and fill it.” I say find a need and fake it.  Say the object of your affection spends the majority of his days begrudgingly pushing briefs at the … Continue reading

Posted in Being Single, Break-Up, Fate, File Under Awkward Moments, Film, free advice, Girls Who Like Boys, Going Out, Love, Marriage, Men, Notes To Self, random rants, Relationships, Text Message, Uncategorized, Why You Have No Boyfriend, Why You're Single, Women, WTF | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

“I’m not gay … BUT five bucks, is five bucks …”

I imagined him shouting over the soothing base line of “Private Dancer,” his body candy coated in rooty tooty fresh-n-fruity body glitter.  After all, school was expensive and well there were those chocolate candies at Neimans’ he loved. I sat … Continue reading

Posted in Being Single, Break-Up, File Under Awkward Moments, free advice, Gays, Girls Who Like Boys, Going Out, Humor, Love, Marriage, Memories, Men, Relationships, Sexy Time, Text Message, Why You Have No Boyfriend, Why You're Single, Women, WTF | Leave a comment

If Anyone Asks, We Met at Whole Foods …

The Times Weddings & Celebrations pages are my guilty pleasure. It’s not that I’m one of those girls that sits around day dreaming about her wedding day. I don’t. Or that I may be slightly obsessed with cushion cut diamonds. … Continue reading

Posted in Being Single, crazy people, Fate, File Under Awkward Moments, Girls Who Like Boys, Humor, Marriage, Memories, Men, Proposals, random rants, Rapture, Relationships, Religion, Why You Have No Boyfriend, Why You're Single, Women | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Go, Means — Go.

On the 19th of March, the moon was as close to the Earth as it has or will be for the next 18 years. A feat that most assuredly comes with cosmic strings attached. An astronomer predicted that the onset … Continue reading

Posted in 80s Nostalgia, Astrology, Being Single, Fate, File Under Awkward Moments, Film, free advice, Gays, Humor, Love, Marriage, Men, Notes To Self, Pisces, Proposals, Pseudo Friendship, random rants, Relationships, Religion, Sexy Time, Text Message, Uncategorized, Who Like Boys, Why You Have No Boyfriend, Why You're Single, Women, WTF | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment